[...] as defined by Einstein in his book "Relativity the special and general theory") it [simultaneity] is defined as a matter of observation.
Einstein's literal prescription can be read for instance here:
http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Relativity:_The_Special_and_General_Theory/Part_I#Section_8_-_On_the_Idea_of_Time_in_Physics
To summarize in my own (hopefully carefully enough chosen) words:
Some particular indication (e.g. "being struck by lightning, $A_s$") of one particular element of a railway embankment ($A$) and some particular indication (e.g. "being hit by a thunderbolt, $B_h$") of some other particular element of a railway embankment ($B$, which was and remained at rest wrt. $A$) are called
"having been simultaneous to each other" if there exist an particiant ($M$) who was and remained "middle between" $A$ and $B$ and who observed $A$s indication $A_s$ and $B$s indication $B_h$ in coincidence;
"having been dissimultaneous to each other" if there exist an particiant ($M$) who was and remained "middle between" $A$ and $B$ and who observed $A$s indication $A_s$ and $B$s indication $B_h$ not in coincidence, but in sequence ("first one, and later the other"; regardless of which "first");
or else, if $A$ had seen $B$s indication $B_h$ before, or at latest in coincidence with, stating its own indication $A_s$;
or else, if $B$ had seen $A$s indication $A_s$ before, or at latest in coincidence with, stating its own indication $B_h$;
or otherwise there is at best only circumstantial evidence about simultaneity or dissimultaneity of $A$s indication $A_s$ and $B$s indication $B_h$.
In case of wiki's thought experiment [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relativity_of_simultaneity#The_train-and-platform_thought_experiment ] two events A and B (reaching of light at the back and front of train) are declared not simultaneous without observing them.
In the thought experiment as described in the Wikipedia article there are relevant elements of the train being explicitly considered and named ("the front and back of the traincar"); and the "one observer midway inside a speeding traincar" is obviously meant as the "middle between the front and back of the traincar", and thus capable of contributing observations for determining whether and which indications of these two "ends of the traincar" were simultaneous or dissimultaneous to each other.
But there are no corresponding particular elements of the "platform" being named; and there is apparently no consideration given to the "other observer standing on a platform as the train moves past" having been "middle between" particular elements of the "platform", and thus capable of contributing observations for determining whether and which indications of any such elements of the "platform" might have been simultaneous or dissimultaneous to each other.
(In fairness: there is a similar shortcoming in Einstein's (related, though not quite equal) discussion of http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Relativity:_The_Special_and_General_Theory/Part_I#Section_9_-_The_Relativity_of_Simultaneity -- where the two "places of the embankment, $A$ and $B$" are explicitly named and $M$ is the "middle between $A$ and $B$"; but "ends" or corresponding "elements of the train" are not explicitly and distinctly named, making it difficult to identify and address "$M'$" explicitly as a "middle between" particular participants.)
Are events in this experiment simultaneous if observed?
It has been noted (correctly) in other answers already that "one cannot say that two events are simultaneous in an absolute way".
Simultaneity or dissimultaneity are not attributes of pairs of entire events; because each event may always involve several distinct participants (such as "the front of the traincar" and some particular element of the embankment, passing each other) who were not at rest to each other.
(That's "what simultaneity is not", or "what dissimultaneity is not", respectively.)
Instead, as indicated above, and as apparent in Einstein's definition, but unfortunately not explicitly verbalized by Einstein:
Simultaneity or dissimultaneity are attributes of pairs of indications of individual distinct participants who were at rest to each other (such as two "places of the railway embankment"; or two "ends of a train").