Great question!
My answer would be that in order to get a bound state, we need to have a potential that is deeper than the kinetic energy the two particles have. We have a better chance of getting a potential of the right depth to bind two nucleons if:
(1) They don't repel charge-wise. Compared to nucleon interaction the Coulomb force isn't that strong, but it's still worth considering. This makes two protons look a little less attractive as a bound system.
(2) The two nucleons being aligned in spin gives some extra binding. This is a property of the nuclear force, in which there is a term
${S}_{12}(\hat{r},\hat{r}) = (\sigma_{1}\cdot\hat{r})(\sigma_{2}\cdot\hat{r})-3(\sigma_{1}\cdot\sigma_{2})$.
The two nucleons in a zero orbital angular momentum state (state of lowest energy) can only align in spin if they are antialigned in isospin, by Pauli exclusion.
The second point is the most important one: nucleons antialigned in isospin can be aligned in spin in an orbital angular-momentum zero state (S-state), by Pauli. This alignment of spins gives them the extra binding they need to form a bound state, because of the dot-product in spin in in the NN interaction, as in the term I mentioned. A proton and a neutron are antialigned in isospin. This means they can align in spin in an S-state, which gives them the "extra" bit of binding energy and lets them stay bound.
U(r)
for neutrons and protons. – Suzan Cioc Nov 18 '14 at 21:56nn
andpp
on SE yet, then it should be here of course. – Suzan Cioc Nov 18 '14 at 23:46