So in quantum field theory, the gluon is an operator which changes the color charge of a field. Since the gluon field itself carries color charge, the gluon-gluon interaction has the same strength as the gluon-quark interaction.
Furthermore, since the QCD coupling constant is $\alpha_S \approx 0.1$, Feynman diagrams with virtual QCD particles in loops contribute with roughly the same strength as one-gluon exchange. The inability to ignore higher-order corrections is why we call QCD a "non-perturbative" theory.
By contrast, the photon couples to electric charge, but is itself electrically neutral. Photon-photon vertices therefore don't appear in the Feynman diagrams that describe electromagnetism.
However, photons can interact with virtual particle loops: each photon spends some fraction of its time as a virtual electron-positron pair, and other photons can interact with those virtual charged particles. This is negligible because the electromagnetic coupling constant, $\alpha_\text{EM} \approx 1/137$, is about ten times feebler than for the strong interaction.
So we can describe electromagnetism quite well, especially at low energy densities, by considering only one-photon exchange between charged particles and ignoring loop corrections, including photon-photon scattering.
Since the gravitational force between the charged fundamental particles is $\sim 10^{40}$ times weaker than the electric force, any perturbation-theoretical approach to gravity will have totally negligible interactions between gravitons, for the same reason that electromagnetism allows you to neglect interactions between photons. I don't think they're impossible, which seems to be the statement that's bothering you; but I think that they're negligible.