Relativistic Spacetime is a "merger" (or whatever the technical term is) of 3 spatial dimensions and 1 time dimension into a 4-dimensional Lorentzian manifold.
However, I am confused as to how I should interpret the "time dimension", for the following reason:
The "time" that a particle takes over the course of a trajectory through spacetime, is simply the "length" (according to the Lorentzian metric tensor) of that path in spacetime. The result is of course that the time a particle spends, depends on its trajectory, even if two trajectories land at the same point in spacetime.
This results for example in the twin scenario, where one twin stays put, and the other travels away with close to the speed of light and back. The second twin will be younger.
I understand that time is therefore relative, and there is not an absolute time function from the lorentzian manifold to $R$. We cannot speak of "the time" at a particular point in spacetime.
While I understand this, it leaves me with a puzzle. To make it clear: assume the simple "flat" spacetime $(t, x, y, z) \in R^4$ of special relativity, where the metric tensor $g_{ij}=\eta_{ij}=\delta^i_j \cdot \{1 \text{ if} i=1, -1 \text{ otherwise }\}$. Assume a time orientation $T^i_{(x)}=(1,0,0,0)$.
What confuses me about this is: while time is not an absolute thing, but differs between particles and depends on their trajectory through spacetime, there is nevertheless an absolute time dimension, given by the first coordinate in $R^4$ (in the special relativity case. Ofc in the general case we can't simply map it to $R^4$ but nevertheless the same point holds).
We don't have to look at the value of the "time coordinate" of each point in spacetime, because even if we don't, I am confused about what the time dimension is/means, given that we've defined time already as something different, namely the "lorentzian length" of curves through spacetime.
That is my main question, but we could even go further and define an absolute time function by mapping every point in spacetime simply to its first coordinate. What would be the meaning of that "absolute time function"? The fact that this is possible seems to contradict the proposition that there is no absolute time in relativity.
I hope my question is clear, but I find my confusion hard to explain.