The thing about quantum mechanics is that it is counter-intuitive. In other words, it does not seem to behave in the way that we are used to in the macroscopic world. If one reads about the EPR paradox and about the violation of Bell's inequality one finds out that this counter-intuitive aspect is revealed by the observation that nature does not obey local-realism.
What does it mean? It means that nature is either nonlocal or that it does not have a unique reality (or both). As far as I know, we do not yet know which of these scenarios is actually valid. However, it seems that the general concensus is that nature is local but does not have a unique reality.
So what does this say about entanglement? If nature were nonlocal then it would have been possible to change the spin of an object far away by measuring the state of a local object that is entangled with the far away one. However, this interpretation runs into all sorts of problem when relativity is brought into the picture. So therefore we pick the other option, namely that there is no unique reality.
What does that say about entanglement? To understand this, it is useful to work with a particular interpretation of quantum mechanics. One can pick any one of the gazillions of interpretations, because none of then can be ruled out by experiments. So I'm going to pick the many-worlds interpretation. I don't necessarily believe that nature works that way, but it is useful to understand how quantum mechanics works.
According to the many-world interpretation, entanglement implies that there are different realities with different combinations for the states. For instance, in one reality particles A and B both have horizontal polarization (spin) and in another reality both have vertical polarization. By measuring the local particle, one fixes the reality in which you made the observation. In that reality the spin of the far away particle is then fixed to be that same as that of the local article. Note however that in this way one did not actually change the spin of the far away particle. One merely selected the reality in which it exists.