Since I started quantum field theory I had very big issues with signs, especially when I had to pass from a tridimensional euclidean space to a flat four-dimensionale spacetime, with Minkowski metric. I read a lot of questions on this site trying to find an answer, but I could just walk around the problem without being able to see what there is in the center. It's months I'm facing these problems and now that I'm coming to the main part of the matter, I just cannot ignore it; sorry if the question is a bit lenghty
The main problem is due to the generators of transformations. Apart from quantum-mechanical formalism, that is a big problem too for me, consider $n-1$-dimensional indexes $\boldsymbol{r}$ and $1$ dimensional parameter $t$; they can be put togheter in $n$-dimensional symbol $\boldsymbol{x}$ with $\mathcal{M}_n$ domain. Consider a $p$-dimensional field $\boldsymbol{\phi}$ with $\Phi$ domain, that takes this symbol, so that $\boldsymbol{\phi}\equiv\boldsymbol{\phi}(\boldsymbol{x})$: the general field transformation due to the representation of the element of a group is \begin{gather*} \tilde{\boldsymbol{x}} = \mathbb{M}_{{\mathcal{M}_n}} \boldsymbol{x} -\boldsymbol{a} \\ \mathcal{O} \boldsymbol{\phi}(\tilde{\boldsymbol{x}}) \doteq \tilde{\boldsymbol{\phi}}(\tilde{\boldsymbol{x}}) = \mathbb{M}_\Phi \boldsymbol{\phi} \left( \mathbb{M}^{-1}_{{\mathcal{M}_n}} (\tilde{\boldsymbol{x}}+\boldsymbol{a}) \right) \end{gather*} That allowed me to write that for a pure translation \begin{gather*} \mathcal{O} \boldsymbol{\phi}(\tilde{\boldsymbol{x}}) \doteq \tilde{\boldsymbol{\phi}}(\tilde{\boldsymbol{x}}) = \boldsymbol{\phi} (\tilde{\boldsymbol{x}}+\boldsymbol{a}) \\ \mathcal{O} \boldsymbol{\phi}(\boldsymbol{x}) \doteq \tilde{\boldsymbol{\phi}}(\boldsymbol{x}) = \boldsymbol{\phi} (\boldsymbol{x}+\boldsymbol{a}) \end{gather*} where in the infinitesimal case $\boldsymbol{\phi}(\boldsymbol{x}+\boldsymbol{a})=\boldsymbol{\phi}(\boldsymbol{x})+a^\alpha\partial_\alpha\boldsymbol{\phi}(\boldsymbol{x})$. Due to the fact that I can write $\mathcal{O}\equiv\exp{\vartheta^i\mathfrak{J}_i}$ I should deduce that the infinitesimal parameter associated to translation are $a^\alpha$ and the generator of the transformation acting on the field are $\partial_\alpha$
Here comes the point
In the quantum mechanical formalism the analogue of group representation on a field is the group representation on a state, right? So in the usual formalism, instead of having $\exp{\vartheta^i\mathfrak{J}_i}$, I'm now having $\exp{\frac{i}{\hbar}\vartheta^i\mathfrak{J}_i}$; the presence of $i$ accounts for the fact that every change of reference should not affect the intrinsic role of a state, meaning that all expectation values are preserved; but there is a problem with that: I can say $\exp{\frac{i}{\hbar}\vartheta^i\mathfrak{J}_i}$ or I can say $\exp{-\frac{i}{\hbar}\vartheta^i\mathfrak{J}_i}$ and I still have an unitary transformation, meaning that the sign of the generators should be defined in some other way.
In the tree dimensional euclidean space case I just wrote the canonical commutation relation \begin{equation*} \left[ \hat{r}^j, \hat{p}_k \right] = i\hbar{\delta^j}_k\mathcal{I} \end{equation*} and say: "Ok, now that I know this I clearly have that the translation is written like this $\mathcal{O}\equiv\mathcal{U}(\boldsymbol{a})=\exp{\frac{i}{\hbar}a^j\hat{p}_j}$ because in this way I have $\delta\hat{r}^k=\frac{i}{\hbar}a^j[\hat{r}^k,\hat{p}_j]=-a^k\mathcal{I}$ and it's perfectly coherent".
For the time translation I instead put $\mathcal{O}=\exp{-\frac{i}{\hbar}\hat{H}t}$ so that the relation $i\hbar \text{d}A(t)/\text{d}t=[A(t),\hat{H}]$ is still preserved.
But what should I do in fourdimensional case? On what kind of reasoning should I base on? How can I actually prove that $\hat{p}_\alpha=i\hbar\partial_\alpha$ and also that $\hat{p}_\alpha=(H,-\boldsymbol{p})$?
I know it is very long, I just want to make explicit all the passages that I did to get to the results, asking, if there are no big problems with what I wrote, where is the exact point that gets me to the desired result.